Judgement belongs to God... Forgiveness belongs to me..

'Judgement belongs to God,
Forgiveness belongs to me... '

The above statement has been knocking at the my mind for the past few days... Persistant it can be....

Simple as it may sound, it is something which is difficult to swallow.. After all that I have endured; after all that I have heard; and after all that I have seen.. And on top of that, I am a human afterall..

Surely, it is natural for any human to bite back.. So why am I told the otherwise?

Somehow, I was brought of the story of Joseph:
Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold to the land of Egypt as slave, accused of things he did not do and subsequently put into prison for 2 years.... Before life turned around for him..

In reflection, I realised that my life seems so similar to Joseph before his life turned around.. Life has never been smooth for me. Instead, it has been full of turbulance which, many times, rocked me out of my senses.. Though still preserved by His mighty Hands, I have been very tired and weary... Seeing myself on the verge of falling so many times...

On top of that, I have to deal with so many wounds of life... Some are still fresh with pain.. And some really gives me the urge for revenge..

Then I got reminded of this extract from the ancient prophet Isaiah:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " (55:8-9)

Ouch!!... But God!!! Where is justice, I asked....

Then the story of Joseph continued...
Joseph was eventually plucked up from being a prisoner to become the equivalence of a Prime minister in our present day context, who was second in command to pharoh... And instead of taking revenge of his brothers who betrayed him, he said:
'You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.'

So how? Does that mean that my life will turn for the better, and that God will bring justice in due time? Then I will be 'benovalent' like Joseph to forgive? Then this conviction came...

It is not up to me to decide who to punish, because I am also a fellow fallen being- saved and redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. So that I may be forgiven... so that I can walk boldly to the judgement seat of God blameless not because of my own merit, but by His grace...

Then I realised that what is important is this: Since God has forgiven me of all my past iniquities even though I don't deserve it, I should also 'bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave (me) Col 3:13

Oh! no chance for me to be 'benovalant' anymore

And as for judgement wise.. It is therefore not up to me to decide anymore.. because He knows better than I (refer to the lyrics of the song at previous entry) .. Hence it is His decision.. Hence, in reverence for His sovereignity, I have release it all to Him.. For Him to decide..

Acknowledging the fact that I am a human.. I know that this is going to be difficult for me to embrace this:
'Judgement belongs to God,
Forgiveness belongs to me... '

So God... help me...... guide me....