Thursday, September 28, 2006

I understand

I understand..... that I am unworthy,
to even know you as a person...
to even talk to you...

I understand.... that why you insist on your rights...
that you want it your way.....
that there shall be no compromise....

I understand... that I am at fault...
to even request for your time...
to even ask for a midpoint....

I understand... that I would not be given chance...
that i shall be condemned forever..
that i am irriating...

Now i know 1 thing...
though I understand all these....
I know i will never be understood...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Guilty until proven innocent

Have you ever though of the day if the justice systems in the present day works this way?

Sentenced before conviction,
Guilty until proven innocent..
Charged before investigation...

Imagine:

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Dilemma of time

Time is what i hope to give,
for space to grow.
So dust shall settle.

Yet time is what i can't give,
for empire's life is at stake.
So the siren is sounded.

How can i balance both,
where both sides are satisfied.
That peace shall prevail again...

Misunderstood

Misunderstood.... why am i always misunderstood?? Someone please tell me....

Friday, September 15, 2006

The anguish of the broken knight

There once was a wandering knight, who ventured into the unknown world with his trusty and faithful horse, carrying with him a precious rock.

One day, in the midst of his adventure, he chanced upon a magnificent castle in the land of wilderness. Awed by its splendor, the curious knight rode towards the castle. As he moved closer, he saw what looked like a saint-whose smile reflect the radiance of the morning sun. The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven Would through the airy region stream so bright That birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek! What lady is that, which doth enrich the hand? The shine of the saint hence captivated his heart. Can he go forward when his heart is here? Turn back, dull earth, and find thy centre out. So, he set up camp in the wilderness hoping for the saint to let him in.

Everyday, the knight will just stand on his horse, hoping for the saint to notice him. He had to bear the heat of the scorching sun in the day, while braving the cold of the night. He did all these believing in the dream of finding favor with the saint.

Days go by and gradually months. Eventually, the long anticipated day arrived when the saint responded to the knight.
She speaks! O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er his head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.
She indicated to the knight to come nearer. The knight willingly obliged. However, the saint remained motionless. Only a week after did the knight noticed movement.

Gradually, the saint allowed the knight to bring her on adventures with his horse and the bag of gold. Together, they encountered mystical creatures, visited caves and labyrinths. The knight felt so honored to be able to serve the saint. Every night, while riding back to the castle, he would anticipate for the saint's invitation for him to enter the castle. Hoping not to pressure the saint into decision, he only asked once in a while for permission to enter- not expecting a favorable reply, but hoping for the best. He asked at intervals because he understood that the saint will prefers others to initiate a question even answer is there. He just wanted to facilitate answer.

One day, the saint had audience with the King of the castle as she was the precious daughter of the loving King. The loving father knew everything about his daughter and she always shared everything in life with him. The father knew of an area in her life which required help, hence, he encouraged her to allow him to take charge of. The loving father wanted her to live assured in the confidence in him. After that, the king revealed that he wanted to bless her with many rewards. At this moment, the princess felt that she should stop seeing the knight. She felt that the father wanted her to devote herself fully to him. However, the intention of the king was not fully understood.

A week later, on the 5th rise of the sun, she rejected his proposal. Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste! The knight was stunted, but eventually resigned to her decision but indicated that he will camp outside the castle till she is ready. She advised against the decision.
And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,
From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.
She will not stay the siege of loving terms,
Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes,
Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold:
O, she is rich in beauty, only poor,
That when she dies with beauty dies her store.
Hence, the knight started camping outside the castle again. Hoping for an eventual change of heart, although he clearly knew that wait will be never-ending. However, daily, the princess perpetually suggested him to move further away. He obliged. Eventually, he reached a position where the castle appeared to be palm-sized.

Dilemma befallen the knight. Should he deny his own feelings? Should he still treat her nicely and make her feel awkward? Or should he intentionally hurt her to assure her that he had given her up? Hence, he resorted to try every solution. But all was received negativity.

Apparently, the princess was not satisfied. She wanted him to disappeared from her completely. In her own initiative, she took a horse out to the knight, carrying with her a whip. When reaching him, she cast the first strike. Ouch!!. The knight obediently received the blow without retaliation. Eventually, the second blow came down on him and subsequently the third, and the forth and more!!!.. The once carefree knight has thus being reduced to a helpless being. Though painful, he resisted any defense out of respect for the princess, wishing that the whipping will eventually stop.

The hope of the knight was not fulfilled. Instead, the slashes continued for weeks. Finally, he decided to make known to her his agony on the night of a Sabbath. Instead of stopping, the princess flared up at him. She slammed him down, refusing him to continue voicing up. So, he thought of ways to cool her down instead.

During his wondering days, the knight found a precious piece of silver and kept it with him. He decided to give it to her hoping to calm her down. It worked. The temperament dropped. He felt so relieved. Thinking that he would have peace again. The next day, he intended to offer 2 phoenixes to calm her down further. However, the result was opposite.

This time, instead of slashing on the superficial, she slashed harder deep into the flesh of the poor knight. This time, he decided that it was the final straw. He decided to confront her and eventually make peace with her. Instead, the intention was misunderstood and she began to torment more.

Knowing the problem, he embarked on the mission to communicate with her, hoping that the situation would turn for the better. He wanted to have a complete picture of the situation so that he could understand her intention. He even intended to ride away to a far off place after he sorted everything out. All attempts failed. Instead he felt that she had abused all the respect he had for her. What was worst, she dropped his precious rock.

The knight eventually ran out of solution. What made matter worst was that all the escape routes were destroyed. He found himself trapped, he could neither escape nor proceed. The knight was eventually lost and confused. He eventually felt worst then an animal. Out of desperation, the knight drew his sword to counter-defend. In the process, he accidentally hurt her. The princess was wounded! At that moment, his heart melted. He was sorry for his action. Seeing her hurt created much more pain than being whipped. He just can't bear the sight of seeing her in agony. He wanted to help her mend the wound, but she disallowed.

Right before his eyes, the knight saw a Gemini. One side is a tormentor; another is a weak girl, easily hurt. A girl under intense pressure from an unknown source, crying out for relieve. Hoping to please her father, yet misunderstood. Has anyone heard her crying? Has anyone seen her pain? How the knight hope to understand her, and help fulfill her demand. But he can't. He cannot see anything. She was holding back and hiding, of what he can't decipher. There is a wall built up since the day of turning away. How can he understand her without knowing anything?

On one hand, he hope to give her time, while on the other hand, he was restricted. Another dilemma he had. The precious rock that was dropped began to sink, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He needed help and the only help present was the reluctant princess. How the knight hope to give her time, but was pressured by the sinking rock. Hoping that peace be forged soon, so that help may come.

The injured knight hopes to let her know that he wants to forgive her for all his pain. He desired that she smile again. He dreamed of the day that the wall would collapse, so as to understand her perspective of the situation. He don't mind being in the wrong. He just want to satisfy her, even if more agony befall upon him. He hopes that she can radiate in her glory again. So, the knight can ride away at ease back into the wildness and not be misunderstood….